"I’m shamed to say it, but I do believe my Uncle Ellis was the cause of the tragic fire in 1911. Yes sir, it was suppah time and according to my father, Uncle Ellis near finished off a whole pot o’ beans up t’ widow Lumper’s bed and breakfast. Afterwards, the two of ‘em went to check on their mule out the hay shed on Broad Street. Then it come up on Uncle Ellis, a familiar rumblin’ t’ his backside. Well sir, the way I heard it, wunt long ‘fore he cut the cheese. That wunt the end of it, neither. Next time he got the urge, Uncle Ellis fired up a match, bent over, and positioned the flame up t’ his hind quarter. According to my father, once Uncle Ellis let the next one loose, flame sprayed out at least three feet. Hay took spark. Pretty soon the whole town lit up like a Christmas tree. When the smoke cleared, once Bangor officials had decided the fire started in that ol’ hay shed, blame fell on the donkey. After some thought and a thorough examination, it was concluded that the mule kicked over an oil lamp. When questioned, both my father and my uncle claimed it was indeed an ass what caused that terrible tragedy. They just never said which one it was."